Guards’ torches
Cut the bars,
Grim faces flicker.
Footsteps echo
Gazes, filter tipped.
Iron scrapes as
Keys turn and
Keys turn,
Heavy hinges
Creak
Isolation.
No way out on
Any level.
The wind howls around
Crenelated shadows.
Rain clamours in
Rhythmic tattoos.
No respite.
Polly Robinson © 2013
10/02/2013 at 00:46
Very grim. Very strong opening with torches cutting the bars. k.
10/02/2013 at 00:55
Hmmm … grim … yes ~ thanks for commenting k.
10/02/2013 at 01:21
Wow, talk about a poem that invokes the senses. Wonderful!
10/02/2013 at 09:03
It’s the audio fx I was looking for, glad if it worked for you Carrie ~ thanks for the comments.
10/02/2013 at 01:52
Wow, you took me to gaol. Such a strong piece, Polly.
10/02/2013 at 09:04
‘do not pass go, do not collect £200′ heh-heh … hope you hear the clangs and creaks, Susan
10/02/2013 at 04:45
Clang! It shuts – judgement passed – the world a little safer
10/02/2013 at 09:06
Yes, I pondered and am still pondering the judgment side of it … glad of your comment Eric, thanks.
10/02/2013 at 06:39
A grim and intimidating world. While working, I frequently had to visit a number of prisons to have face to face contacts required by the courts. You paint it so well.
10/02/2013 at 09:08
That’s an interesting comment Lea. I know nothing of prisons save what I see on TV and thought about whether the doors still have keys or if maybe they have keypads. I decided it wasn’t overly important, but am glad it works for you with working knowledge. They seem ultra-grim places to me on so many levels. Thank you very much for commenting.
10/02/2013 at 11:27
Interesting the question of keys versus keypads – I had the vision from your words that this was a period piece set somewhere back in time… Can’t pin my finger on why.
10/02/2013 at 15:10
Ah, that’s good. I deliberately used the words ‘crenelated’ and ‘torches’ (rather than flashlights) to give the impression of bygone times ~ good that this, or something (?) worked for you, Holly. Definitely supposed to be an old (possibly French) prison …
10/02/2013 at 21:24
Yes! That’s it! It’s there and it’s evocative – but it’s not “inyerface”. Nice one Polly!
10/02/2013 at 11:25
And I thought I wrote “unremitting” poetry! lol. Seriously, very powerful stuff… And I like that you leave it up to the reader to imagine the nature of the crime.
10/02/2013 at 15:11
Ha! You know how keen I am to let the reader bring their own impression / interpretation to my poems ~ thanks for the comments, I like that you think this one ‘unremitting’
10/02/2013 at 21:25
Well it’s not exactly cheery, now is it? Read on a very grey and dreary Sunday morning… Didn’t do much to lift the mood! lol. But that’s a *good* thing in the case of this poem.
10/02/2013 at 20:29
Phew – sinister!
10/02/2013 at 21:27
I shall take that as a compliment heh-heh
11/02/2013 at 08:17
Had to look up crenelated – fits well in this context. The mobile electronic dictionary has been coming in handy just lately: I’m reading Umbrella by Will Self.
It feels to me like this is the prisoner’s POV, so I’m not picking up on the judgement angle – more the sense of ‘this is my fate’. It’s powerful for me in that sense.
11/02/2013 at 08:28
Thanks Andy ~ heh-heh re dictionary / Will Self comment
Yes, it is from the prisoners’ POV and while some will think about the judgement angle this was not a major theme in the poem. I think it handles itself as the scene is a prison. Glad to see it’s powerful from the prisoners’ POV.